Episode 82: Where is Your Vagina Pointing with Pilates For Your Privates Founder Alissa Alter
Podcast
Episode 82: Where is Your Vagina Pointing with Pilates For Your Privates Founder Alissa Alter
“When your vagina is pointing straight down, when your pelvis is aligned the rest of your body it finds more of its alignment. Naturally, most likely you feel like you're sitting up a little bit taller and it feels a little bit easier to do so because the musculature is balanced. This is also a great way to… (create) physical alignment. But it's also aligning your energy and your chakras — our sacral and root Chakra are all about our stability and our safety.” — Alissa Alter
Welcome to this week’s episode of Show Up Fully! I’m joined by Alissa Alter, certified Pilates instructor and founder of Pilates For Your Privates. She’s a former Broadway performer, a podcast host, an author, and the co-founder and Content & Community of the media platform, pstprtm.com.
In our conversation, Alissa — also called the Amy Poehler of vaginas — shares her mission to destigmatize people with vagina's experience and body and normalize the conversation.
Alissa provides a LIVE demo to help you understand, Where Is Your Vagina Pointing? And highlights how her own physical recovery became the gateway to understanding both physical and emotional bodily responses.
Her energetic, yet educated approach around the topic of pelvic health serves as a reminder that we are our body’s best advocate.
Alissa describes ways to support pelvic health and why showing up fully means acknowledging all parts of ourselves.
Topics Covered:
● A demo of Alissa’s pelvic floor practice
● How vagina alignment played a role in Alissa's physical recovery
● Dialogue with the body about pain
● How change capitalizes on neuroplasticity as part of the healing process
● Tools for when you don’t want to show up and how to be present with it
● The power of normalizing conversations around advocating for yourself
Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, or on your favorite podcast platform.
Eat Well,
xo Chef Carla
PS: Join The Nourishing Creativity Community on Substack. I am hosting my first Nourishing Creativity Retreat Saturday 10/28. Join us here
Resources Mentioned:
Podcast Episode #58: Real Life Body Positivity + My Pilates Mat Training
Podcast Episode #81: How Present Are You? An Opportunity to be Mindful with Patricia Pinto
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Wherever you are listening, please rate, review + subscribe to Show Up Fully. Send the podcast to your friends, post in your stories on Instagram & tag me @chefcarlacontreras and use the hashtag #showupfully
About Alissa Alter
Alissa is an author of Unstuck: From Understudy To The Study Of Your Undercarriage, and host of the podcast Myth of Motherhood, Speaker, Women’s Health Expert & Motherhood Advocate, who is all about cracking open the taboo topics of motherhood and the female experience.
A former Broadway performer and certified Pilates instructor specializing in pelvic health, she uses movement, mindfulness, and good ol’ education to help you stop suffering in silence so that your journey through motherhood can be healing and empowering stages of life.
By sharing women’s stories, she believes we can initiate change toward better postpartum care. Alissa is a very excited mom and loves practicing cartwheels and handstands with her son. Learn more about Alissa, what she does, and why she does it at www.alissa-alter.com.
Follow her on Instagram @alissaalter and TikTok @alissaalter.
00:00.52
chefcarla
Alyssa. Thank you so much for coming on today. I am so grateful to have you here. Can you introduce yourself and how you serve the world?
00:10.30
Alissa
Yes, and I'll start by saying thank you Carla for having me here. Ah my name is Alyssa Alter I am also known as the Amy Pohler of vaginas ah that is a title gifted to me by a friend of mine and I really. Really love it and appreciate it because I do feel like it encompasses everything I do because I often struggle answering this question because I show up and serve the world in a variety of ways I am a former broadway performer I'm a certified Pilates instructor. I am a podcast host I am an author I am a co-founder of the media platform postpartum.com I still while I don't audition and perform musical theater in the like more traditional commercial sense I'm still a performer and create one woman shows that I perform in the city and elsewhere. And I am a coach and a mom and I was divorced and now I'm remarried and very happily and I have a 3 year old and I am pregnant with my second baby as we speak. Um, so I am on a mission to destigmatize. Female experience and the female body and normalize the conversation around these things really by any means necessary and that is how I serve so I do that through.
01:32.80
Alissa
My online courses which are Pilates based I do that through the articles that I read and the conversations that I have on my podcast and kind of coming at this from any and every direction possible to again to normalize the conversation and reinforce that we have nothing to be ashamed about. And there is no one right way to do any of this.. There is only your right way.
01:55.54
chefcarla
I Love this so we can go right into the articles because I feel like we should do a practice that you wrote an article about and it's called where is your vagina pointing.
02:06.90
Alissa
Ah, yes.
02:11.21
chefcarla_77
And I feel like any human could do this practice right with their pelvic floor.
02:13.85
Alissa
Yeah I I think you're are you talking about the article that was published on babe by hatch because the practice was in there. The title was like why you need to know Wtf is up with your vag.
02:21.80
chefcarla_77
I Feel like yeah it was.
02:33.17
Alissa
At every like throughout the entire motherhood journey and it's based on this practice which this this came out of as my Pilates teaching evolved to being centered around the pelvic floor.
02:37.94
chefcarla
Yeah, yeah
02:47.40
chefcarla
Yeah.
02:51.45
Alissa
Which happened before I had my son um and was came to be out of a dance injury that I had and really coming to appreciate the alignment of the pelvis and realizing that it's really our pelvis that's directing what's happening in our body. And I was working with a physical therapist who is becoming a women's Health Pelvic Health Pt who was like if you think you're into the pelvis wait till you learn about the pelvic floor and then my brain exploded and so this became my favorite um q to ask. Clients while moving is where is your vagina pointing so should we should. We do a little a little demo a little sneak peek a little practice so that we all know exactly what we're talking about. Okay, so okay, so.
03:33.40
chefcarla_77
I Would love to I would love to what do have? What do we have to do okay.
03:44.13
Alissa
Seated or standing preferably seated, but standing is great too. Okay, so sit up and for just like to start sit up straight. Whatever that means to you Okay, and then just notice what that is how your body feels what's going on and then you're going to rock your. Weight forward and back so it can sort of have a cat cow feeling or you could just shift your weight forward and back so that you rock your weight forward towards your pubic bone and then you rock your weight back towards your tailbone Now your vagina is roughly. At the center of your pelvic floor. So as you rock forward. Your vagina is pointing back or I should say vaginal opening to be like explicitly clear because the vaginal canal is sometimes on an angle and for each of us in our unique anatomy. That's a different angle but we're not going to get that crazy about it. Okay, and then when you rock back towards your tailbone. Your vagina is pointing forward So find a spot where you are sitting between the pubic bone and tailbone where your vagina is pointing straight down and then rock your weight side to side a little bit so you feel each sit bone because a lot of times we have a habit of sitting more into one hip than the other. And then be balanced between the two so that land that Bony landmark of your pubic bone your sit bones your tailbones makes roughly a diamond shape with your vagina roughly at the Center. So now.
05:13.38
Alissa
Your vagina is pointing straight down and that diamond of your pelvic floor is parallel to the floor and notice Now what it feels like when you really think. Okay, my vagina is pointing straight down. How does it feel to be sitting up now. Chances are. When your vagina is pointing straight down when your pelvis is aligned the rest of your body finds more of its alignment Naturally so most likely you feel like you're sitting up a little bit taller and it feels a little bit easier to do so because the musculature is balanced. This is also a great way to like we're creating that physical alignment. But it's also like aligning your energy and your chakras and our sacral and root Chakra are all about our stability. Our safety. These are really great things to help us feel better confident more centered in the world as well as like. The musculoskeletal system your core works more effectively which helps you feel more centered and stabled and all the things. It's a great one-stop shop. So Now your vagina is pointing straight down, you're sitting up tall and we've located that Diamond shape of your pelvic floor. So while we're here. Go ahead. Close your eyes and inhale and feel that Diamond Widen as you Exhale notice how the Diamond narrows you're not forcing anything just inhale.
06:47.33
Alissa
Feel the Diamond Widen So you are directing your breath lower down so it doesn't get trapped in your Chest. We're really going for full diaphromatic breathing and then as you Exhale follow the narrowing of the diamond and of your pelvic floor. Do it one more time. Inhale feel the Diamond Widen and as you Exhale follow the narrowing and breathing like this. It does it deepens your breath. It slows your breath which helps to activate the parasympathetic nervous system which is our rest and digest to help us feel more calm and centered all of that So we're coming at it from every angle and in terms of Pelvic health when it comes to our pelvic floor. We Usually don't know what the hell's going On. We're a little nervous to talk about it because we might have to say the word Vagina Luckily I'm not afraid to say it and we aren't taught anything so we lose sight of the fact or we never knew that our pelvic floor is made of voluntary skeletal muscle just like your biceps just like your quadruceps. And healthy muscles can contract and release and by breathing like this the widening helps release and stretch the muscles the Exhale narrows and lifts and engages these muscles because anytime anything is going on with your pelvic floor or like you're just a woman in the world.
08:13.38
Alissa
Told to do kegels and tighten it up. But if that's all we do and we never Release. We're going to end up with a dysfunctional movement pattern and end up with unnecessary pain and potential Injury. So I don't want that for you. So every day find Mate put it on a Post-it note I Love this put it on a Post-it note put it on your computer put it on the fridge put it on your mirror put it wherever you want that says where is my vagina pointing to remind you to check in where your vagina is pointing and then go ahead and just take like. 1 deep breath there and then you'll probably be inspired to take more because it feels really good, but just take one start with one and then let us know how it goes.
08:56.96
chefcarla_77
This is amazing. This is amazing. This podcast is called show up fully for a reason because we're told I feel like in all areas including kegels like you should do a hundred of these to a day you should imagine picking up the blueberry.
09:08.69
Alissa
Then.
09:16.85
chefcarla
I don't know 30 times and yeah, if people don't know what I'm talking about Google picking up the blueberry because it's it's definitely out there I feel like we're told in all these different ways to especially through postpartum because I know that this is a place that's deep in your heart.
09:17.65
Alissa
Um, right? ah.
09:34.76
Alissa
The he.
09:35.87
chefcarla
To show up and this is why I'm like I want to have conversations about what it's like to show up through injury through discomfort through times that are really challenging and how could we take a deep breath and I feel like I've gone to The. AhPT the pelvic floor PT I do palot is you know this and I do have an episode about becoming a palot is mat instructor I'll put that in the show notes. But I feel like what if and I'm going to challenge other people I'm going to throw it out there. This is is a challenge because.
09:59.97
Alissa
Yes.
10:15.16
chefcarla_77
I Feel like if I created a practice where I sat at my desk and did that I wonder how my alignment would be even if it was just for a couple minutes.
10:29.00
Alissa
It it would make a huge impact and I think that that just that idea in and of itself is so important to like take a moment with that and if we're talking about postpartum right? There's so much pressure to get back to. Insert. Whatever whether it's your pre-baby jeans your pre-baby workout your pre-baby. Whatever get back to everything like nothing ever happened something really big did happen and I really went after having my son I really resented those feelings of having to get back and sort of pretend. This didn't happen because it happened. It happened and for me my birth was very traumatic I had a fourth degree tear so I had a very I had an extensive physical injury that required surgical repair immediately. Um and thankfully because of the skill of my surgeon. My o b g y n and. The condition of my muscle tissue going in because it was very fluent in pelvic floorwork so that muscles and everything were very healthy I was able to have an uncomplicated recovery but even still it was an extensive recovery you know in ah about a three me. I mean maybe a three inch area maybe I had almost 50 stitches because it was every layer of muscle organs sphincters all the pieces. So for me to get started moving. There was no getting back to anything. There's no pretending this never happened.
12:07.80
Alissa
But just because at six weeks I wasn't going for a run which I'm not a runner so I wasn't going to go for a run no matter how this went down I don't have anything against running. It's just not my jam I respect you if that's yours it is not mine I can help you with it I'm happy for you. Ah I'm not going to run with you though? um.
12:14.24
chefcarla
Yeah
12:26.85
Alissa
But it started with like my then rehabilitating and getting back to my full Pilates practice. My yoga practice splits dance class handstands. All of the things backbends walkovers that I love to do started with. Like throughout the day checking in on my alignment where is my vagina pointing because I was standing super weird I was sitting so weird for so long with all my weight over on my left butt cheek because my tear was more on the right side and I didn't want pressure on my stitches. And then even when all of that had healed I was still sitting cockeyed because I was terrified and that became my normal but that's not my normal and that is not that's not a healthy balance of muscles I was still over compensating and compensating and guarding and protecting. So by just sitting even on just on both butt cheeks and breathing and asking that entire diamond of the pelvic floor to be a part of this was part was the base and is the base the foundation of my physical recovery. But. Also the emotional side of things of being able to start to feel like I could maybe trust my body again that I could maybe one day feel safe that I could be pain free that I and the biggest one is like that I could be unafraid to move.
13:59.28
Alissa
And we have this idea that it needs to be these big big things like I have to get back to Crossfit and it's like no it starts really small to really show up. It starts with these small modifications or as I like to say alterations. Because my last name's alter can't help it can't stop. Won't stop um throughout the day like you were saying Carla if you just a couple times during the day really checked in with like you don't even have to like fix anything but just like how am I sitting? What are my habits how how. Am I showing up in this body you then have information you can work with. However, you want to. But if you don't know what's going on, you're to be able to do anything.
14:49.78
chefcarla_77
Yeah, and I want to I want to ask you about having pain in your body and I've talked to my physical therapist about this remembering that pain and acting in a way that. Still holds onto that trauma even though the physical pain may be gone.
15:14.39
Alissa
Yeah, well and even it's like the physical pain could still be there but the cause for the pain is gone because your body remembers These moves are painful So We're gonna We're gonna fire the sequence of events which is this thing happens pain. Even though the tear or the injury or the you know, whatever the the muscle tension the fascal tension. Whatever it is has actually been resolved your body remembers this like pain mapping. So The pain is very real and there's not a a true cause for it. It is a remembered pattern and that pain is there to protect us. It is there to say whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa slow down because the last time we went here we did get Hurt. We did get hurt and I don't want you to get hurt again and so I know it like sounds silly but in those moments for myself because I mean my body remembers. All of it. And I even started having some of that sort of like those pain memories even though I'd been pain free for years when I got pregnant again because it's like my oh we're Pregnant. We know what this leads to a disaster. So like I started having pain.
16:47.92
Alissa
And as I am moving my body both in terms of just like living life and on the mat I literally will have an internal dialogue where I'll be like hey thanks pain I see you you are doing. You are so enthusiastic about protecting me. And I love you for that and we are safe Now. It's different look I'll show you and then I do gentle movements where I'm like look see. We're good. We're good and I breeze through that I I don't. Push myself I don't blast past it and be like you're Here. You're a liar I'm fine. Shut up, get out of here I'm like no look look that yes you are yup this used to hurt and even for me, it's like yeah this used to be something scary that was very real and I am okay, right now so look. Come with me hold my hand you are not allowed to drive the car but you can ride along with me and I will show you that we are fine now and it's like through that I mean there's there I am not a neurologist or a therapist or. Ah, psychiatrrist or like ah you know there are people that like and studies that show how that change capitalizes on neuroplasticity and creates different neural pathways and I know about these things but I'm not like the the expert or ah have a degree in it. But this all is a very important part.
18:19.20
Alissa
Of the healing process and maybe I don't I don't know maybe I'll be giving myself those Pep talks for the rest of my life or maybe at some point I won't need to anymore or maybe certain instances I won't have to but certain instances I will um because like I don't have to. I don't have to give myself that Pep talk when I boop anymore. But I did because having stitches in your two hole will do that to you.
18:47.84
chefcarla
Love this Alissa I feel like I want to ask you what you do when you don't want to show up but I feel like you've just given so many tools. Ah, but really there there has to be times that. Like you know what we're gonna reschedule I'm gonna cancel I'm going to shift what I'm doing I'm going to and I would love because I know that you have shifted branding. You have shifted your business I'd love to chat about that.
19:09.83
Alissa
Who.
19:23.49
Alissa
Yeah, um, and you know ah showing up can sometimes. Like maybe we feel this way or it can. It can feel like that's also trying to say that like or like heading into the world of like toxic positivity of like it has like showing up doesn't always have to be positive like in that context so it. Showing up for yourself is all is honoring exactly where you're at right now and there are definitely times where I'm like I can't do the things I thought I was going to do today or show up continuously in this way I can't I don't. Circumstances have changed or I overestimated how much I had available to give or circumstances in my households have changed that is demanding more of me that then there's less of me somewhere else and showing up is also honoring that and pivoting and. Calling and saying like I I am overextended I need to reschedule this can I please be in touch with you next week to set up a time for this week or this week or if it is specifically like I can do it Monday like I just can't do it today. Um.
20:50.20
Alissa
And I find I mean I feel like I used to have so much fear around that like the perfectionism in me, um, listen like I was a Broadway performer I came from the dance world like ah you the show. Goes on. You do not show up for yourself. You show up for everybody else. I it took a long time to really let go of the fear of what could happen by letting someone down by actually honoring where I was at. But what I find is that when I do that when I'm like hey I so I thought I could make this happen I really can't I respect your time I'm so I apologize can we please reschedule for this time and just ah, show up for it and I'm honest I'm not weird. You know, well not more weird than I am about it. People appreciate that and respect it and say absolutely and I have made it I have made the conscious decision that when someone emails me with that like hey I need to reschedule I thought I was gonna do. Be able to do this or I'm late getting back to you I was really overwhelmed or whatever I write back and I'm like good for you for taking some space. Absolutely not a problem to like also call out and recognize in a positive way that like you're not a failure because life has.
22:16.90
Alissa
Bins and you're human I think it takes a lot more strength to honor that and own that and be present with it than it does to like lie and pretend some nothing happened and you're infallible because we all are.
22:29.20
chefcarla
Yes, and I think that this is the fully part this is because that's the that's the podcast that's show up fully and I think fully really acknowledges all of the parts that include the things that we might deem.
22:34.20
Alissa
Yeah.
22:43.30
Alissa
Yes.
22:48.29
chefcarla
As dark as negative as things that are socially, not acceptable and I emailed. Um, there was an email recently. Um, and I feel like I sent it to you. It was like I'm not responding to emails in a socially acceptable way and it was like um is this like. New Auto Responder like this is amazing.
23:10.90
Alissa
Yeah I know I reset I I was thinking about maybe adding something adding an auto responder because even with you Carla you had emailed me recently and I didn't get back to you and it's because like I just I got swallowed by life and and I was in that place. And there was part of me that was like I know I can write to Carla and be like hey I got this I will get back to you some other time just I'm in it and you would be like sending you a hug you know like just totally understanding. It wasn't because sometimes you don't respond because you're like. I don't even have the energy to put together the the email I need to whatever? Um, but just sending something that was like hey I'm in it I might be a little bit slower to respond. But I'm glad to hear from you and I'm looking forward to getting back to you when I can like thank you for understanding. Because there is I mean now it's like we're so there's such immediacy around everything that it really does feel like like if you email someone and don't hear back for them from a hear back from them in a couple days. You start panicate what happened do they hate do they hate me do they not want what I have is this thing off is this thing happening. What are we doing because we're just so accustomed to just like firing it back and forth. But I think we're all exhausted from that and realizing like we can't function like that. Why are we doing this.
24:40.40
chefcarla
It's too much I was thinking of and I do have an auto Respondder I have an Auto respondder. Actually it's very lengthy because I'm working with brands and podcast all the things but I was thinking about it in terms of postage. Like you send a letter. It doesn't get there immediately and I was like how can I take this concept and put it into email form because some days I am unavailable because I am.
25:06.22
Alissa
Earth.
25:13.33
chefcarla
Creating I am making videos I am for I'm doing photography I am recipe testing I'm not at my computer all day.
25:14.39
Alissa
Yes.
25:20.93
Alissa
Yeah, yeah, which and that's like as a creative person as someone who is creating. It's also really hard to to hold that boundary around email because every email interrupts your creative process. And that context switching ultimately hurts your work and and it's it's exhausting In. It's like a wasted exhaustion. You know like it's a different kind of exhaustion when you've like created all day and you've been in the flow and you're like oh my I am so tired but I'm invigorated This is just exhausting because you're back and Forth. You're like wasting so much energy just switching between the Two. So. How do you? Yeah like when the world is so. Is it when it's so normalized to just have access to each other constantly. How do you switch that and also be like but this it it's not this is healthier but like this isn't personal because I don't like you This is just my natural but this is a boundary I have to keep. In order to be able to live my life and there's nothing wrong with saying that and if a bunch of us start doing it. It'll be more Normal. You know more people will be used to hearing it. Yeah.
26:38.49
chefcarla
And that's that's the thing right right? and I think that that's a huge point to your work is normalizing conversations.
26:51.96
Alissa
Yeah, and and this this confidence in even if you're the first one in your circle to do it but to advocate for yourself. Ask for the things you actually need show up for yourself. Maybe sometimes ahead of showing up for someone else because so it really to say yes to 1 thing often requires saying no to something else so there might be you know it could be a work dynamic where you always say yes to everything which requires you. Abandoning yourself. Even if you're tired even if you really can't do it. You say? yes because you want to be that person so then that dynamic is the dynamic you have so when you start saying yes to yourself and it requires a no in this dynamic that has never had that before it's going to be really hard. But the more that you do it the more everyone adjusts. It's like if you haven't gone to the gym in a long time and you go to the gym and you pick up weights they're you're going to be sore. They're going to feel so heavy and if you go back regularly. It gets easier. Because your body adapts and then suddenly like you're like you know I'm gonna pick up a heavier weight today because these don't even I don't feel it anymore you know and that's how we build this capacity to and it's not.
28:23.90
Alissa
Like to selfishly put yourself ahead of everyone else all the time Sometimes yes sometimes you need to but it's to include yourself in the equation which especially as women we are definitely taught not to and if you also come from a dance Background. You also were definitely told not to. And there are other disciplines that also require that. But.
28:44.83
chefcarla
a hundred percent a hundred percent I feel like in the chef you know and that's where I I grew up in in Kitchens you showed up. Regardless, it was it was just that was the culture.
28:56.17
Alissa
Yeah.
29:01.53
chefcarla
I love this conversation. I feel like we could talk for hours I would love for you to share how we can find you, how we can work with you and how we can support you.
29:07.49
Alissa
Ah, hundred percent yeah
29:16.57
Alissa
Thank you? Um, you can check out my work and my online courses which I have six week courses I also have a mini course available to get a little taste on my website alyssaalter.com and on there that's under the courses tab and there's also if you click. Blog that'll take you to my blog over on substack where I share about my podcast I share about what's going on I share tips and tricks and information about the pelvic floor. How to integrate this work into your life to feel centered and confident and start. Um. You know building that strength to show up for yourself. You know there is a lot of overlap. Um with my work and yours Carla which is part of why we like met each other and we're like hey soul sister. Um and you can subscribe to that blog. And I'm also over on Instagram at Alyssa Alter yes thank you.
30:10.30
chefcarla
Amazing. Thank you so much Alyssa I feel like we should do one last deep breath to to find. Let's let's do it!
30:19.94
Alissa
Yes, so now check in where is your vagina pointing right now is it the same is it different. It's probably different. That's Fine. There's nothing wrong with that. But just where is it and what are you doing and then if you're driving a car right now don't. Close your eyes. But if you're not doing so if it is safe to close your eyes close your eyes and take a deep breath in and feel that diamond of your pelvic floor widen and as you Exhale follow the narrowing of your pelvic floor and really try to Exhale. All of the air out of your lungs. All of it all of it Even when you think there's nothing left just like a little bit more and have a great day. Ah, Thank you so much.